You know what creeps me out about pigeons?
And they’re everywhere.
And they think they’re all cool and shit.
Like they’re always walking in the middle of the street, and they sit on buildings, and they sleep in bridges. They’re essentially the homeless people of the bird world.
It’s depressing. At least seagulls have the decency to isolate their loitering to abandoned parking lots, but pigeons… they’re everywhere. Why can’t they just go chill in forests or trees like a normal bird? Like, have you ever seen a pigeon in a tree?
They are never within 100 feet of a tree. It’s like pigeons are completely unaware of the concept of trees and their relation to birds. They just wander the sidewalks in cities like people. It’s like they think they’re people.
But what if they are people?
Maybe that’s why pigeons are always in cities. Like, what if that’s what happens after we die? Our soul gets trapped in a pigeon. And with our avian reincarnation we go to the nearest city to try to tell people that we died and our soul is now trapped in the body a pigeon. Like, we’re all screaming, “HELP! I USED TO BE A PERSON AND THEN I DIED AND NOW I’M A PIGEON!” but the only thing that comes out is that retarded ‘cooo…coo’ noise pigeons make.
And eventually we give up and just accept our new life as a pigeon on the streets. And instead of spare change we ask for breadcrumbs and crackers. And everyone just looks down and away and mumbles, “no, sorry, I don’t have anything,” and we’re all like, “ok thanks anyway, well, god bless you.”
Damn. Being a pigeon is gonna suck.